whisky whisky

i hate to be stereotypical but if there’s a flight that every crew just dreads doing; are those to india. don’t get me wrong, some passengers are the most beautiful ever but there’s always a few that just ruins the image. the thing is, a lot of them do not speak english. and as far as i know, the word “please” is not in their vocabulary. so the one-sided conversation is devoid of any manners like “please” or “thank you”. thus they always always come across as rude, brusque and plainly demanding.

they also love scotch whisky. i have a feeling they do not understand what they are drinking, but because they have found out that they are complimentary on flights, they take advantage of them as much as possible. of course they don’t only order 5 whiskies from a single crew, but from different crew hoping we don’t find out how much they’ve been drinking (we know, we keep a tab on you alcoholics). once the random stranger finds out what their neighbour is ordering, they ask for the same, even if they don’t know what it is. then comes this chain effect of everyone wanting to have a scotch each.

you see, the brand of scotch we have on board is famous grouse (its yummy, but i’d recommend the glenfiddich or hennessey  more). these people don’t know the name of it. they just know that on the bottle there's a picture of a chicken-looking-bird and its whisky. so they call it chicken whisky. imagine me trying to argue with them that there is no such dish as a whisky-infused chicken.

let me paint this picture for you; an unruly indian man in his 40s; obesely overweight who god-knows-what sort of health problems he has and can barely fit into his seat. he keeps ordering whiskies and half an hour later, he feels sick and completely threw up onto his dinner tray because he could not get out of his seat fast enough to head to the bathroom. this grown up man then feels really embarrassed because now pretty little ladies have to help clean up after him like a big baby.

 

seriously, if you cant hold your drink. don’t start. just because its free doesn’t mean you need to binge on it.

cute kids and dads

i meet lots of random people in flight. some are horrendous. but some just makes me just melt inside. over time i’d hope to share them with you. because stereotyping customers is hell-a entertaining.

its quite amazing how many single parents travel alone with their child. alot of them are going to a destination to be reunited with the other half, yet there are many who generally doesn’t have a partner and is raising their kid single-handedly.

there’s so many good looking dads lovingly taking care of their child in flight. these kids are usually very shy and reserved. but they warm up to you once they see you bringing toys around for them. :D ah they are so eff-ing cute i want to kidnap them!

part of the job

i’m a flight attendant. i’m part of the cabin crew. i’m a freakin’ air hostess.

telling people what i do for a living still feels like the oddest thing to me. even though i’ve been doing this for at least 2 months now.

its a love-hate relationship with this job. i think i have a love-hate relationship with everything i do. architecture was a torture, but i can never stop missing the beauty of creation. working as a flight attendant has personally been very demeaning, but the perks has been fabulous.

let me list them down:

1) everything is provided for.

 

my apartment, my water bills, my electricity bills, my transport to work. i live with another malaysian and we both have our own bathrooms with a large bathtub. the apartment comes furnished, and my room is twice the size of what i had in melbourne. albeit a little old, but its so spacious i’m so grateful to be away from the tiny apartments in melbourne. also my apartment is right next to a metro station which means easy travel everywhere, at least 5 supermarkets surround me and being in bur dubai; its next to a very local community of textile traders.

because everything is provided for, we crew do save a lot of our salary. the only things we pay for are our food. shopping and entertainment will of course be on ourselves; and because of our weak currency i know a lot of crew who doesn’t save much at the end of the day as well.

2) the travel.

this was what i came here  for and its the best thing ever. the airline covers a lot of destinations; and being in the middle east is like being in the centre of the world. for each flight more than 4 hours, we get to stay at the destination we land in. usually for a good 24 hours. these are called layovers. Flights to the United States usually have layovers of 48 hours (2 days!). However, crew flying into the US require a special visa which i have yet to get, thus am kinda unhappy about the waiting.

At every layover they put us in a hotel. not dingy motels or backpackers. they’re usually 4 star hotels. most of the time these hotels are located in the centre of the city which makes it good location for sight seeing. some times its in the middle of nowhere but these are rare. then they give us ‘meal allowances’. meaning cash to keep us fed.

 

how can anyone not like this!? travelling. hotel paid for. food paid for (most of the time with excess money). we crew also get discounted tickets (up to 90% off) for ourselves, immediate families and extended family (meaning cousins and sister-in-laws) not only on the airline i’m working for, but on partner airlines as well! my brother pilots for malaysian airlines and i can say they aren’t as generous as this!

3) the extra time.

i work half the time i did back home (then again i was a workaholic) and am getting just as much. of the many things that came with the job, i’m appreciating this the most. i now go to the gym more often and get the time to spend on my hobbies more often. and since coming here, i’ve realised that i have ALOT OF HOBBIES.

there are many more little perks of being here. dubai, the parties, the free delivery, major discounts everywhere, but these are the extras.

4) easy work, easy money.

this job is like a joke. it really doesn’t require a lot of brains. everything is set out so the high company standards are met. you do this this and this. of course we need the skills to diffuse difficult situations like drunk passengers or medical cases but really, most of the responsibilities goes to the seniors. so my job becomes like a new social party every time i step onto the plane. i meet new people, learn about them, gossip about the crazy seniors and the crazy passengers. i don’t say i go to work like normal people do. i just say i have a flight to do.
 



now lets get to the not-so-great part.

1) i work like a slave.

its not a glamorous job. that view is so 1960s Pan Am era. we’re here primarily for safety and security reasons, but somehow along the way we have turned into waiters, waitresses, butlers or maids. personally, it is incredibly demeaning for me to be here doing this. i go back and forth bringing people their requested drinks. i have to fake a smile and be nice to rude and irritable passengers. i have to pick up the dirty trays after the meal service and push it strategically into the cart so everything fits well. when a call bell lights up, i have to be there right away to attend to whatever request there may be. i have to periodically check on the lavatories to make sure they’re clean (usually they’re not but i just spray some air freshener and that’s it. haha) god what did i get myself into.

so while all this is going on, i switch off. and think about the next destination. and fool around with the other crew at the back of the plane. haha

2) crazy crew, seniors and unrelenting management.

when i say crazy, i mean that they aren’t sound of mind. difficult passengers are nothing compared to these people. there are bullies, backstabbers, plain mean, racist, anything you can think of. whenever i encounter these people, i just go about doing my work quietly and shut my mouth. not only because i’m new and a junior, but more because they aren’t worth my time to retaliate. half of the time thinking what’s wrong with these people.

because the hierarchical structure is so prominent in the company, everything is so controlled. every word you say can be used against you. every little mistake you land you in trouble with the management. there is no leeway. there is no flexibility. which is such an irony with the core values of the company. from the very beginning, they brainwash you; we got to be flexible to attend to the customer needs, we got to be personal to bring the best customer service. oh yes we do all that, but we don’t get any back.

3) rostering and scheduling.

no we do not get a choice to where we get flights to. just take what is given. shut up and do your job. since i started i've flown to colombo 5 times, which can at times be much more than someone who's been in the same company for 3 whole years. we have no control on what destinations we go to or when we go. okay so we have annual leaves that we can request, but these are to be bid for half a year before. i cannot plan my future so far ahead! also like any other person working abroad, we miss out alot on our families lives; birthdays, first baby steps, anniversaries. and these are the most important things in life. just the fact of being there.


even with the good and the bad, i have to admit; things has been pretty entertaining so far. wait till i bitch about the passengers.

sri lanka pt.I

i’ve had 2 flights to colombo in sri lanka. From Dubai to Colombo, we do a transit stop to Malé in the Maldives, so you can imagine how many honeymooners there would be on board. Which is both lovely and disgusting as the same time when i’m trying to give them food yet they insist on displaying their affections in public. If gobbling up each other fills you up, don’t come back to me complaining you’re hungry.

Someone once told me to request a seat in the flight deck if we were ever flying over the maldives, so naturally when i had the opportunity to; i did. and it was mind-blowingly beautiful. i refrained from taking any photos (the flight crew aren’t supposed to allow me in in the first place) just so the pilots don’t get into trouble, but imagine seeing little islands dotted around clear blue sea with little brown chalets and a variety of white yachts.

photo credited to justpasteit

sunny all year round, unspoiled beaches and incredibly touristic; i can understand why newly wed couples would come here for their honeymoon to do nothing and make sweet lovin’ on the beach (there really is nothing else to do anyway).

on my airline we always strive to make someone’s day a little more special. hence on occasions when travel agencies actually informs us that they have honeymooners on board, we surprise them with a free cake with a big ‘congrats’ written on it and 2 glasses of champagne.



most of the time passengers turn up delighted from the little extra attention. however we had this one japanese couple that looked at us quietly unimpressed and said “but we’re not married”. then there was the few seconds of awkward silence between the couple and the crew.

before i replied; “you can have the cake anyway!”

okay so we landed in colombo airport which is actually almost an hour away from colombo city. we the crew get put into this lovely hotel in the tropics which is 5 minutes away from the airport. there’s nothing near the hotel but a main street, a couple of mini markets and fruit stalls, and the jungle…



yes it was naturally really beautiful tho. after putting up with so much of sand in dubai, i never realised how much i missed the greens until we touched down to be greeted with the lush green jungle. oh yea and the mozzies as well.

we landed during dinner time, and most of the crew decided to stay in for the night, wake up early (like 5am) to take a 2 hour bus ride to visit the elephant sanctuary and ride on elephants. Imagining waking up at 5am for a 4 hour return bus ride made me think twice if i really wanted to join them as i’ve already done some elephant riding in bangkok. So this male purser managed to convince me instead; “don’t bother with some stupid elephant ride, by the time you get back you’d be so tired and you have to do the flight. come with me and i’ll bring you somewhere fun and cheap”

so guess where he brings me to; a casino. now before you judge my senior for his destination of choice for my very first colombo layover, i have to admit, i did have a lot of fun. absolutely random but eye opening at the same time.

 

“ballys” and “balenciaga” were part of the same group of casinos in colombo. it wasn’t a huge one compared to the ones i’m accustomed to in melbourne or singapore, but they still had the normal tables of poker, roulette, pontoon, baccarat and more. however as long as you were a patron of the casino and you spend a little money on the tables, there’s a buffet table ready for you and unlimited drinks to be ordered. alcoholic or non. oh my how happy i was. there was a live band, free food, free drinks on the price of whatever you lost in the casino (or win as a matter of fact)

still early, the crowd has yet to arrive.

so we ate drank and won some money which paid for our taxi ride there. i was sooo glad to sleep in the next day, instead of waking up at some ungodly hour. i thought the hotel was pretty cute; as they had a yoga channel and a yoga mat in the wardrobe. so i woke up at midday, did an hour of good stretching and yoga before heading down for the breakfast buffet.

   



it seems like that’s what i’m living off right now; hotel breakfast buffets. anyways i did skip this one in colombo and ordered a lamprais/lampreys/lumprice from the alacarte menu instead.





so what is a lamprais? you may ask. i asked the same question after my new found hotel chef friends recommended me the dish. Its a very traditional sri lanakan meal where spiced rice is wrapped in a roasted banana leaf with sides of curries, vegetable masala and chutney. it had a boiled egg and fried mashed potato in a little ramekin on the side, but to my knowledge, some places don’t. the banana leaf-wrapped-meal is then baked in the oven allowing all the flavours and spices meld together. it was certainly very yummy and flavourful but its not something i would eat everyday as it can get a little dry. well worth a try though, if ever you’re in sri lanka or come across a sri lankan restaurant.



after lunch was just enjoying the green green jungle and some cheap grocery shopping; but that’s part two =)

The Ramadan dinner

The Ramadan month ended last week. If you don’t know what ramadan is; its the holy ninth month in the Islamic calendar where Muslims fast during the daylight hours from dawn to sunset. It is apparently the month when the holy book of Quran is believed to have been revealed.

I am a non-muslim, thus do not follow the ramadan rules. However as UAE is a muslim country, everyone has to respect and abide to these rules. Thus there is no food displayed in malls, shops etc from about 5am till 7pm. Supermarkets are still open as normal. Restaurants and cafes close up with shutters and/or blinds; some of them still serve food but only for take-away. Bars and clubs are still open, however there is no music and only non-alcoholic drinks are served.

 

The reason why muslims abstain from any food, drinks and any sexual activities is highly spiritual. Through fasting, they experience hunger and thirst; to sympthathize with the unfortunate, and also to practice self-control. However, OHMYGAWD it was bloody torture for me to go through the month. As my batchmates and i finally ended our training; we could not celebrate as there was no bars/clubs that were open with alcohol. If i happened to be out during lunch time and got hungry, i could not have anything to eat out in the public. One would need to bring it back home before you could eat, or worse case scenario, eat it in the public bathroom. Imagine delicious donuts were screaming out to me as i walked past. The rules are so strict here that if you were actually caught even drinking water inside your car; you’d get thrown into jail.

The good thing however; was the iftar meals at dawn. Iftar is the evening meal when muslims would come together and break their fast together. Alot of restaurants have iftar buffets where you can eat whatever and however much you wanted for a set price. the average was about AED70/USD20 for a lower quality restaurant to about AED500/USD135 for one in a fine dining restaurant.

 if you didn’t know already, i’ve got gorgeous friends. inside and out. don’t be envious now.

I had the privilege to be able to attend 2 iftar buffets. the first was sort of a celebratory dinner at Al Merkaaz in dubai marina. The food was alright; but the hospitality was just amazing as the manager took us through all the different traditional Lebanese dishes and desserts.

The night was still young and would not be complete without a session of seesha, thus we headed to look for a nice chill-out spot. As we walked onto the dubai marina, i was blown away by the sight beyond. Yachts parked in a man-made marina with scores of skyscrapers and blinding lights. Sheikh Zayed Road was alright, but i definitely found the glitzy side of Dubai.

 

Okay, fast forward a week later, and i found myself and my batchmates being invited for another iftar dinner organized by the cabin crew committee; held in the Sheikh Mohammed Centre for Cultural Understanding.

  

The centre is housed in the historic traditional Emirati neighbourhood of Bastakiya. It is a lovely lovely place and would definitely recommend a walk through the maze of narrow sikkas and tall wind towers. We got lost (obviously) looking for the exact place, but when we were escorted through a series of corridors, an indoor covered courtyard laid with carpets, pillows and lots of food greeted us graciously.

We began with a little introduction to the month of ramadan, the customs and culture of muslims, what to do and what not to do, and the food of course. They had traditional names for the dishes but being in arabic i obviously do not remember any of it. except just that they were lamb, goat, rice, wheat, and donuts dipped in syrup! Breaking fast always start with a round of plain water, dates and arabic coffee. It is customary to only eat after the evening prayers end; but me being me, i popped a date in as soon as i was handed one; to the dismay of the person serving me.

iveta from lithuania and rene from south africa

No they didnt put me into jail for that but i felt bad for being such a lackwit. Oh well, after the prayers were done and dusted; time for the feast to begin! The food was alright due to the sheer amount of mass producing they needed to do to feed everyone. What made it really special was the ambience and cultural understanding i experienced, and that made the meal so much more than just a meal.

all the bright lights

Have you ever had an occasion where you can’t think of anywhere else that you want to be but where ever you are at that exact moment; time and place? i had that moment of gratitude as i was sitting in the flight cockpit, as we swirled around dubai with the glittering pinnacle of burj dubai, bright lights dotted surrounding it at 3am in the morning.

i just got back from my first 2 SUPY flights. the first was to karachi, pakistan and it was nothing short of eventful. The flight was delayed 45 minutes, which gave us crew some time to grab some coffee. Then 3 cabin crew was pulled out at the last minute. The seniors were reassuring me that it rarely happens and not be too alarmed by it. It was a flight for me to just sit and observe. However as it was a full flight and they were working on a minimum number of crew, i helped out with the cabin service anyway.

It was a flight during Iftar time. Iftar is the time when muslims fasting for religious reasons would break their fast after about 14hours of not eating nor drinking. So you can imagine how hungry these people were. Not to mention cranky and demanding. A short flight + undermanned meant that a lot of passengers didn’t receive what they wanted. which meant unhappy customers. not to mention unhappy crew. 1 man vomited all over the aisle. 1 baby vomited on the mother. doesn’t it all sound so dramatic? there’s a sick bag in the seat pockets. use it.

 
anyways being the newbie i had the privilege to sit in the cockpit during takeoff and landing. it was meant to show every crew how the flight deck worked and how important it would be not to disturb them during these crucial times. so my lips were zipped the whole time i was in there, unless they spoke to me of course. i found the whole process of take-off and landing incredibly manual and tedious. in this age of technology and automation you would think it was just pressing the pedal and pushing the control stick to fly the machine; however there were a million buttons to press before and after, checklists to go through and so many visual indicators to monitor. it was like playing a retro video game; but just a hundred times more complicated.

the monitors were all 16 bit, i swear, and the text like high scores you’d see on retro video games.

so while the flight deck were busy concentrating on flying and landing the plane safely, me the SUPY enjoyed the view; and what a view it was. whatever HDR photos you see on the internet cannot capture the beauty and experience of it. landscapes, buildings, infrastructures shrinking as you fly higher and higher, which soon becomes a large web all connected to one another and soon you realise how small you truly are from above. it was an amazing experience; i now truly understand the charm of flying such a large aircraft and i’m so so glad i took the crazy leap to be there at that moment.

prepare for lift off

i’ve finally finally ended my training. its been a long 6 weeks. even though i’m a little sad that i wont be seeing all my batchmates that i’ve grown so close from learning and spending time together every single day for the past weeks, i’m actually more relieved that its finally over.

also, our rosters are released on the 26th of each month. meaning that i’ve actually been allocated the destinations that i’m flying to.

photography by umer whom i reckon captures the most beautiful pictures of his home country.

tomorrow i will be doing my very first turnaround supy (supernumery) flight to karachi, pakistan. i won’t be actually working but will be there just to observe and learn from the start to finish. then comes my first operational flights to 3 destinations in india, bangladesh, jeddah, and iraq. my first layover (which i am very excited for) was allocated at the end of the month, which i believe deserves it’s own post. haha.

the dreamfly project

so you can see now, my first month of operational flights will be to many of the countries which are still living in hardcore poverty. many of my more experienced friends have shared with me their encounters; how many of the passengers on these flights probably have never had any formal education and how it is probably their first flight to/from home after many years abroad trying to make ends meet. my parents are freaking out at the destinations i need to serve (it’s their typical protective maternal instinct) but truthfully i wished i had time to go about the cities and towns instead of just turnarounds.

it will be an interesting month. i just hope the crew i fly with will be nice ones. i’m new. please go easy on me. =)

i’m trained for this

we had one whole week of GMT (general medical training). after a week i've learnt that i cannot cannot stomach any blood, pain, screaming or any serious medical conditions. i've also learnt how important these life skills are in times of a medical emergency. the trainers have made us prepared in any life-threatening event you can think of; from simple burns to internal bleeding, cardiac arrest, and even childbirth.

so now i know how to administer CPR. i’m glad to say that i will know what to do in an event of a cardiac arrest. a cardiac arrest is when one’s heart suddenly stop working (usually after a heart attack). however i reckon i’ll only act as the last resort in the case that there isn’t anyone else to help. lol.

the step-by-step images do show the right way to administer CPR; albeit the hilarious captions.
1) call for help or an ambulance
2) tilt the head back while checking for signs of breathing
5) place palm along the nipple line in the middle of the chest (this is serious..)
6) 30 chest compressions as hard as possible with 2 hands within 15seconds
3) blow hard! only twice into lungs
repeat till victim starts breathing/paramedics arrive/after 30 minutes. wtf capri-sun liquid?? no.. we’re just meant to check for the pulse or breathing.

one thing i learnt is that while doing the CPR, the ribs will more often than not break under the chest compressions. the rule of thumb is that if there isn’t any cracking sounds, it means that the compressions aren’t effective. freaky.

  liking the awareness poster by nina reck

it gets worse as the week progresses. we learnt how to stab someone with the EPIPEN (adrenaline solution) if they were suffering from a severe case of allergic reaction. then came childbirth with a really real plastic model. the baby comes out all slimy and with the cord attached.

if you can stomach more, there was also the session on how to handle dead bodies on board if such an event were to happen. the cabin is actually prepared with a corpse bag and all the accessories needed to respectfully 'bag' the poor soul.

this was a slightly traumatising week for me, to actually be trained for events that might happen. pray that it never does happen on my flights. cause i know i’ll be freaking out like shite if it did.

prepare for take off

training for the new job has been going on for the past 3 weeks, and hell; is it intense! The first week was purely induction, to get us newbies settled into dubai and our new employer. The first days were interesting as it gave us a chance to meet with people from all over the world, so there were lots of cultural exchanges going around

2 days into induction and i was getting bored and tired. it was fun to make new friends and batchmates, but the week has been just CONSTANT BRAINWASHING. understand that this is a major major airline in the middle east and employee productivity is of upmost importance. (which airline am i talking about? qatar air? emirates? etihad? gulf air? its not that hard to guess. i’m employed in a major airline based in dubai) so the week has been about how lucky we are to be here, how we are the creme-de-la-creme of tens of thousands of applicants, we are the greatest we are the best noone can compare to our awesomeness. sorry for the bashing but there’s just so much motivation sessions i can take. we are a family yes but that doesn’t mean i am not an individual and need to sacrifice my everything for your profits.



anyways training takes about 5 weeks here. i’ve finished 3 weeks and can’t wait for the last 2 to go quickly as i am just to tired of being indoors pouring through the manual. i’ve gone through 6 years of tertiary studies, 5 weeks feel like forever to me. compare this to a batchmate of mine who went through 9 years; having a degree in european studies and masters in clinical physiologist. everyday we greet each other with the ‘good lord-another day-kill me now’ face.

that aside, i have been learning ALOT. the first 2 weeks consists of intense SEP (safety and emergency procedures) training which was pretty fun. the company had invested in a million dollar simulator which was so awesome; comparable or even better than the ones in disneyland. you could actually feel the air pressure alike a real aircraft during take off or landing.



first off was how to operate the aircraft doors which seemed intimidating at first as there were so many safety procedures to go through before a door could actually be opened or closed. however once we had the hang of it with practice sessions, it was easy as pie. evacuating came next, how to evacuate passengers in case of a catastrophe. it was.. exhilarating.. that would be the best way to describe it. the simulator could simulate actual turbulence, smoke, crashes etc that it feels so real and everyone inside would die if we the cabin crew did not do something.

decompression came next. you know the ones in movies where an aircraft door suddenly blasts open and oxygen masks drop down from above? yea, if ever anything happens on board; you’d want us there. HAHA. but on a serious note, it is virtually impossible for such a thing to happen. we were taught fire fighting procedures as well, in case there was a fire onboard which would be very very fatal. the simulator couldn’t simulate fire, so instead we had blinking red lights to represent fire and had lasers shooting out of the fire extinguisher. haha wtf. ditching was one of the last things; where everyone had to put on life vests, slide down the slide raft and jump into the freezing cold water.


 found this online and it is hilarious! maybe not so much to you but when you were taught the ideal scenario in an emergency situation, it is easy to relate on what will actually happen as illustrated. who reads these cards anyways?! anyways the next time you fly; read them, that’ll make my job so much easier.

Dear people; if ever there was an emergency situation: KEEP CALM and LISTEN TO US. WE ARE Freakin TRAINED FOR THIS. ‘nuff said.

so that was the 2 weeks of SEP. nearly every other day we had theoretical exams that requires more than an 80% mark to pass and home based assignment to be completed after 8 hours of class; it is not easy. there was so so much to learn in a short period of time. my brain felt so sponged up on the last day but at least now i’m well prepared for any situation ;D


GMT (general medical training) week came next; but i’ll leave that for the next post.